Dive into a world where humor meets the ranks! These 10 side-splitting military poems playfully salute our brave soldiers, offering a light-hearted perspective on life in uniform. Prepare to march to the beat of laughter and chuckles!
Funny Military Poems about Soldiers
1. Boot Camp Blues
In the realm of strict routines and early morning drills, this poem captures the lighter moments and humorous experiences of a soldier’s life at boot camp.
Wake up to the bugle’s scream,
Boots lined up, looking so clean.
Stumble on laces, fall in a heap,
Why did I sign up, for mornings this steep?
Push-ups and sit-ups, sweat starts to pour,
The drill sergeant yells, “Twenty more!”
Haircuts so short, we all look the same,
Is that Private Johnson? Or what’s-his-name?
End of the day, tired and sore,
Dream of mom’s couch, and snacks galore.
But despite the pain, and endless groan,
This band of brothers, a family grown.
2. Camo Fashion
Soldiers have a distinct look, especially with their camouflage attire. This poem jests about the highs and lows of camo fashion.
Camo pants, camo hat,
Hide in bushes, just like that.
But at the mall, in plain sight,
I blend in, that doesn’t seem right.
Pockets galore, where’s my key?
Lost among the twenty-three.
Everywhere in green and brown,
Even my undies, never to be found.
Camo fashion, bold and grand,
But lost my socks, in this sandy land.
Though we laugh and poke some fun,
In camo gear, we’re always one.
3. Tank Troubles
The mighty military tank, a symbol of strength, can also be the subject of playful banter. Here’s a humorous take on tank tales.
Big and mighty, rolling around,
Crushing everything, that’s on the ground.
Got inside, wanted to drive,
Forgot the keys, oh man, high five!
Windows so small, can barely see,
Who put this coffee stain, on my knee?
Turning the wheel, left and then right,
Wishing for GPS, throughout the night.
Heavy and loud, it’s no sedan ride,
But inside a tank, our joy won’t hide.
For in its strength, and tales we crank,
We find our laughs, atop this tank.
4. MRE Mystery
MREs or Meals Ready to Eat are a staple for soldiers. This poem humorously explores the surprises these meals might contain.
Unwrap the pack, what’s inside?
MREs, a gastronomic ride.
Is it chicken? Or maybe beef stew?
One thing for sure, it’s not fondue.
Some taste great, others a shock,
Who knew you could dehydrate a rock?
With a tiny heater, and a splash of water,
Hoping it’s good, for the general’s daughter.
Jokes aside, when hunger strikes,
MREs fill, both day and night.
Though they’re quirky, and sometimes a jest,
They fuel our troops, to be their best.
5. Parachute Play
Jumping out of a plane is no small feat. This poem adds a dash of humor to the adrenaline-packed parachute drops.
Strapped in tight, ready to soar,
Jumping out, who needs a door?
Parachute packed, hope it’s right,
Or I’ll be falling, all through the night.
Fluffy clouds, coming near,
Is that a bird? Oh dear, oh dear!
Floating gracefully, wind in my ear,
Suddenly craving, a cold root beer.
Landing is near, aiming for trees,
Missed them by inches, scraped both knees.
Despite the thrills, and slight dismay,
I’d jump again, any given day.
6. Drill Sergeant’s Lullaby
Drill sergeants are known for their strictness. This poem pokes fun at the idea of a drill sergeant singing a lullaby.
Hush now soldier, time to sleep,
Dream of marches, counting sheep.
Rest those eyes, and weary feet,
Tomorrow’s drill, won’t be so sweet.
If you snore, do it with might,
Or I’ll make you run, all through the night.
Pillow fights and bedtime fun,
Be warned, I’ll make everyone run!
Tucked in bed, under starry sky,
This is my version, of a lullaby.
Though I seem tough, and very stern,
It’s discipline and respect, I wish you to learn.
7. Bunker Ballads
Life in a bunker can be challenging. This poem highlights the lighter side of such an experience.
Deep in the ground, away from the sun,
Bunker life, isn’t always fun.
Cramped up spaces, walls so near,
Yet we manage, to laugh and cheer.
Radio blares, old-time tunes,
We dance around, like cartoon goons.
Shadows cast, by a single light,
Make funny faces, into the night.
Bunker ballads, songs we croon,
By the light of a military moon.
Despite the confines, spirits we lift,
For in humor, we find the gift.
8. Marching Missteps
Marching in formation requires precision. This poem chuckles at the inevitable missteps that can occur.
Left, right, left, we go,
In perfect rhythm? Oh, no, no!
Tripped on a stone, broke the line,
Saw a squirrel, now I’m behind.
Whistle blows, sergeant’s glare,
“Keep in step!” I swear, I swear!
Shiny boots, moving as one,
Except for mine, I think I’m done.
Marching missteps, a dance of sorts,
Laughter rings, from every fort.
For even in steps, strict and tall,
A funny stumble, befalls us all.
9. Salute the Sun
Morning routines in the military are rigid. This poem finds humor in the daily salutations to the sun.
Rise and shine, greet the day,
Salute the sun, in military way.
Stretching limbs, yawning wide,
Hoping my sergeant, will let one slide.
Shadows cast, by morning light,
Formation perfect? Not quite right.
I saluted a tree, thinking it’s a mate,
Now tree salutes, are my new trait.
Every morning, with the dawn’s hum,
We find laughter, and then some.
Though we respect, each protocol spun,
Sometimes, we just salute for fun.
10. Guard Duty Giggles
Guard duty is serious business, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t moments of levity. This poem touches on those humorous instances.
Standing still, guarding the gate,
Hours are long, often late.
Owl hoots nearby, made me jump high,
Swore it was a spy, oh my, oh my!
Moonlit shadows, playing tricks,
Is that a trespasser? No, just sticks.
Holding a laugh, mustn’t make a sound,
But funny thoughts, keep coming around.
Guard duty giggles, silence of night,
Even in seriousness, humor takes flight.
For in the stillness, and duty so grand,
A chuckling heart, makes its stand.
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