30 Funny Ways to Say No To Alcohol

Funny Ways to Say No To Alcohol

Below are 30 Funny Ways to Say No To Alcohol:

  1. I left my beer goggles at home.
  2. I’ve hit my quota for the year.
  3. My liver’s on vacation!
  4. I’m on a H2O diet.
  5. Alcohol and I broke up.
  6. My drink already has spirit – it’s water.
  7. I’m too sober for that!
  8. Wine not? Because I said so.
  9. I’m allergic – I break out in bad decisions.
  10. I’m practicing my sober karaoke tonight.
  11. Last time I checked, unicorn blood wasn’t alcoholic!
  12. My plants drink more than I do.
  13. I’m on a booze snooze.
  14. Captain Sober on duty tonight!
  15. I’m on a liquid diet – just not that liquid.
  16. I’m in a committed relationship with hydration.
  17. I’ve already had my fill – of fun!
  18. The only shots I take are of espresso.
  19. I’m driving… my point home that I’m not drinking!
  20. My spirit animal tonight? Sober squirrel.
  21. Only mocktails, no cocktails for me!
  22. I’m keeping my spirits up without spirits!
  23. No thanks, I’m naturally high on life.
  24. I’m waiting for the non-alcoholic champagne.
  25. I gave my liver the day off.
  26. Just here for the snacks, not the sips.
  27. I’m not thirsty for that!
  28. I’ve gone from tequila to tea.
  29. I’m a designated responsible adult tonight.
  30. Sorry, I’m on a bubbles-only diet – and I mean soda!


  1. Funny Ways to Say No To A Marriage Proposal
  2. Funny Ways to Say No To A Guy

Funny Ways to Say No To Alcohol