Step inside a world of crowns, capes, and comic relief as we explore 10 Humorous Poems about Royalty! Whether you’re a fan of Shakespearean jesters or modern-day satires, this collection serves a royal feast of laughter. Journey through palaces and parliaments—all while chuckling at the quirks of monarchy!
Humorous Poems About Royalty
1. The Queen’s New Shoes
Before the Queen steps out for her grand parade, she’s faced with the dilemma of choosing the perfect pair of shoes. This humorous poem explores the all-too-royal trouble of footwear fashion.
In the palace closet, oh so grand,
Lies a sea of shoes, from heel to sand.
The Queen gazes down, in utter despair,
“Which of these shoes should I wear?”
Slippers of gold, pumps full of jewels,
In royal footwear, there are no rules.
Still, she must choose and make no mistake,
A Queen’s reputation is clearly at stake.
Finally, she dons boots made for walking,
“Enough of this fuss, I’m simply done talking!”
To the parade she goes, feeling quite smart,
For her boots truly were, a work of art.
2. The King’s Empty Throne
Ever wondered what happens when a king takes a break? The empty throne tells its own tale, and the kingdom seems to have its own thoughts on the matter.
The throne was empty, not a king in sight,
Palace guards wondered with all their might.
“Where’s the king gone?” one guard did say,
“Perhaps he just needed a holiday.”
The kingdom buzzed, rumors flew like bees,
“Is he sick, abducted, or lost his keys?”
Court jesters laughed, and knights shook their heads,
As they dreamed of a king who was still in bed.
But the king returned, quite refreshed and gay,
With tales of a spa day, far away.
The throne sighed in relief, “The king’s come home,”
No longer did it feel so utterly alone.
3. The Princess and Her Frog
When a princess finds a frog claiming to be a prince, she questions the age-old fairy tales. This poem paints a funny picture of the classic royal dilemma.
A frog in the pond called out to the Princess,
“I’m a Prince, just kiss me, end my distress!”
The Princess pondered, then spoke with a grin,
“How many have kissed you, let’s begin?”
“Are you Prince One, or maybe Prince Three?
How do I know you’re the right one for me?”
The frog blinked his eyes, clearly quite stuck,
As she mused, “Maybe you’re just a plain, old duck.”
She skipped away, with her head held high,
Not every frog deserves a royal good-bye.
With a giggle, she thought, “Frogs can be such a bore,”
Then she went back to her castle, forever more.
4. The Jester’s Dance
Court jesters are the life of the royal party, but what happens when one jester takes his role too seriously? This poem tells the tale.
The jester danced and spun around,
The court’s official merry clown.
He cartwheeled with unparalleled grace,
But fell flat right on his face.
“Was that a part of the act?” they mused,
As the jester looked quite confused.
“I’m a jester, not a gymnast here,
That flip was something to truly fear.”
He picked himself up, dusted his clothes,
Nodded, bowed, struck a pose.
“Even a jester can make a blunder,
But hey, it adds to the royal wonder!”
5. The Squire’s Dilemma
Young squires serve their knights with loyalty. But what happens when one squire is more interested in poetry than in swordplay?
Young Squire Tim was quite the lad,
Not very strong, but not too bad.
He carried swords and shined the shields,
And followed knights through many fields.
But Tim had dreams of rhymes and prose,
Of writing poems, not dealing blows.
He’d rather pen a line or verse,
Than be in battles, for better or worse.
“My sword is mightier as a pen,” he’d say,
“I’d rather write than fight any day!”
So Tim became the poet of the court,
Where rhyming, not fighting, was his sport.
6. Royal Diet Woes
Queen Margaret wants to diet but the royal kitchen tempts her otherwise. The struggle is, indeed, royally real.
Queen Margaret stared at her royal plate,
Salads and veggies, she truly did hate.
“I want cake and pie, bring it fast!”
She told her servants, quite aghast.
But her doctor warned, “No more treats,
Your Majesty needs to eat her beets.”
She sighed and groaned, with a royal frown,
Dieting in a castle could really get one down.
With a flick of her wrist, she pushed food away,
“Fine, I’ll start the diet—but not today!”
For now, she’d feast, tomorrow she’d rue,
A Queen’s life is tough, that much is true.
7. The Duke’s Dog
Even a duke has problems when his pet decides to act less than noble. This poem is for anyone who’s ever had a mischievous pet.
Duke William had a dog named Earl,
A naughty pup, who’d run and twirl.
He’d chew the shoes and bite the mail,
And never once wagged his tiny tail.
“In a Duke’s home, you must behave,”
William told Earl, trying to be brave.
“Or else you’ll go from this royal house,
Quiet as a mouse, quiet as a mouse!”
Earl looked up, with innocent eyes,
As if he’d won a noble prize.
Then ran to fetch the Duke’s gold hat,
Because, in the end, he was still a brat.
8. The Baron’s Overcoat
Baron Humphrey takes great pride in his overcoat, so much that he neglects his other duties. Ah, the vanity of nobility.
Baron Humphrey had an overcoat,
Silk and velvet, it would truly float.
He wore it here, he wore it there,
He wore that coat everywhere.
“Your lands, your title, do they not matter?”
Asked his wife, her voice in a clatter.
“Why fret about lands, when I look so fine?”
Said the Baron, sipping his royal wine.
He lost his lands, his wealth did dwindle,
But he still had the coat—its sheen would kindle.
“An overcoat makes a Baron, that’s clear!”
Though he was wrong, he didn’t care.
9. The Knight Who Couldn’t Joust
Sir Cedric is a knight who has one big problem: He can’t joust. But in the end, he discovers he has other talents.
Sir Cedric was strong, Sir Cedric was stout,
But when it came to jousting, he was filled with doubt.
He’d drop his lance, or miss the mark,
Oh, how jousting was not his art.
“Why not try something else?” said the King,
“Archery, painting, or even singing?”
Cedric thought and picked up a lute,
Strummed a tune that was rather cute.
So Sir Cedric found his royal call,
Not in jousting, not at all.
He played his lute, the court would cheer,
“Forget the lance, I’ve found my career!”
10. Lady Eleanor’s Tea
Lady Eleanor loves her afternoon tea, so much that it becomes a daily spectacle for the entire court.
Lady Eleanor had her tea at three,
A royal event for all to see.
She’d sip Earl Grey with a spoon of honey,
“Ah, life’s good when the skies are sunny.”
She invited lords, she invited dames,
And turned tea-time into social games.
One day she thought, “Let’s add some flair!”
And added bubbles to the royal air.
So it was, in the castle’s great hall,
Lady Eleanor’s tea became a bubbly ball.
She giggled, “Tea at three, isn’t life a spree?”
And everyone agreed, as they sipped their tea.
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